The! Biggest! News! of! the! Day! - Not China's GDP, or Earnings from BAC, MRK, MER or MO

Here are some of the contenders for today's biggest...news...of...the...day...

• Weakness in Asian markets after it is reported that "China's economy grew at a faster-than-expected pace...and inflation rose in March above the comfort zone of policy makers, likely spurring additional austerity measures to cool down the mainland's economy"...
• Earnings from Bank of America (BAC)...
• Earnings from Merck (MRK)...
• Earnings from Merrill Lynch (MER)...
• Earnings from Altria Group (MO)...
• Earnings from eBay (EBAY)...
• Earnings from Motorola (MOT)...
• Speculation that chipmakers may start aggressively buying back stock...

While those are all stories worth watching, I think it is obviously clear that the biggest story is one of the stories below:

• Sea lion attacks teen surfer girl - "A sea lion leaped out of the sea and attacked a 13-year-old girl as she surfed behind a speedboat off Australia's west coast..."
• Elephant dung helps scientists develop new biofuel - "Scientists in the Netherlands have discovered a fungus in elephant dung that will help them break down fibres and wood into biofuel..."
• Belgrade horses may be drugged for Stones gig - "Preparations to sedate as many as 300 horses stabled at Belgrade's racecourse to keep them calm during a Rolling Stones concert have enraged Serb animal lovers..."
• Zoo asks visitors not to stare at chimps - "the Antwerp Zoo has urged visitors to, please, stop staring at the chimpanzees..."

This list, courtesy of my colleagues Elizabeth "I am starting to become suspicious of animals myself" Harrow and Mark "I don't want to collect elephant dung" Fightmaster, shows what I have missed in the last two days...as for my thoughts, I am disturbed to see sea lions join the growing list of those participating in the looming animal uprising...of course, you can expect horses to join next - even being sedated isn't enough to tolerate seeing this image...