The! Biggest! News! of! the! Day! - Not News Corp Bid for Dow Jones (DJ), TWX Earnings, or ADP Report

Here are some of the contenders for today's biggest...news...of...the...day...

• Rupert Murdoch's push to buy Dow Jones (DJ) as News Corp (NWS) offers an unsolicited $5 billion bid...
• Better-than-expected earnings from Time Warner (TWX)...
• Data on the economy as the ADP employment report showed "the weakest job growth in nearly four years"...
• Concerns about commercial mortgages...
• Better-than-expected earnings from MasterCard Inc (MA)...
• A move to take Cablevision Systems (CVC) private...
• A push by the Nasdaq to list three-character tickers...

While those are all stories worth watching, I think it is obviously clear that the biggest story is this - Md. town tells park visitors to BYOTP...according to the article, officials in Walkersville, Md. have "announced that all paper products have been removed from bathrooms at the town's four parks" in "an effort to combat vandalism, graffiti and drug use in the parks"...this means that "Hand dryers will replace paper towels and visitors will have to bring their own TP"....

Eureka - we have found the key to crime - get rid of toilet paper!?!?...I am sure that drug users and vandals will surely change their ways now...