The! Biggest! News! of! the! Day! - Not Microsoft, Facebook, Motorola, VMware, EMC, Eli Lilly or Fed

Here are some of the contenders for today's biggest...news...of...the...day...

• The announcement that Microsoft will invest $240 million in Facebook...
• Rumors [subscription required] of an emergency FOMC meeting and potential rate cut that were floated yesterday...
• Earnings from Motorola (MOT)...
• A look at the run in shares of VMware (VMW) with comment made about short interest...
• Earnings from EMC Corp (EMC)...
• Job cuts at Bank of America (BAC)...
• A halt of drug trials at Eli Lilly & Co. (LLY)...
• Downbeat comments about the housing sector as it said "The battered markets for real estate and home building still have farther to fall"...
• The article that asks - "Is marriage a dumb move?"...

While those are all stories worth watching, I think it is obviously clear that the biggest news is this mini-collection of submitted articles...

My colleague Richard Sparks offers a couple of "interesting" articles -

• Kenyan Monkeys Make Lewd Gestures at Women
• Scientists Generate Powerful Antimatter Ray

While Brent says -

• Nick, I just had to pass this along as a candidate for News of the Day - Fearing Crime, Japanese Wear the Hiding Place... why risk getting mugged when you could just wear some clothes that can quickly transform you into a vending machine?

Well, there you have it...those fearing crime and lewd monkeys can now disguise themselves as a vending machine and, if that doesn't work, defend themselves with an antimatter ray?

As a side note, I don't know if my workplace is "unique" but I have seen the vending machines take a tremendous amount of abuse...body slams...rocking back and forth...punching...kicking...I think I even saw biting once...

I think it may be safer to just get mugged than to have someone walk up, stick a dollar in your mouth, and not be able to give them their cheesy poofs. I also have to wonder about the muggers that are actually fooled by a "fabric vending machine". I think you might actually be able to just use the old Jedi Mind Trick on that lot..."These aren't the valuables you're looking for"...