The! Biggest! News! of! the! Day! - Not CPI, Intel, JP Morgan, Oracle, Ambac, or Fed Rate Cuts

Here are some of the contenders for today's biggest...news...of...the...day...

• The CPI report that showed - "Consumer prices in the U.S. rose at a slower pace in December, signaling inflation may decelerate after rising in 2007 by the most in 17 years"...
• Disappointing earnings from Intel (INTC)...
• Disappointing earnings from JP Morgan (JPM)...
• The call from the markets for the Fed to cut rates aggressively...
• The acquisition of BEA Systems (BEAS) by Oracle (ORCL)...
• A look into the current economic gloom and what signs to watch for a turnaround...
• Skepticism [subscription required] on the banking sector as it is said "it is still too early to go bargain hunting among many financial stocks"...
• A dividend cut by Ambac Financial Group Inc. (ABK)...

While those are all stories worth watching, I think it is obviously clear that the biggest news is this trio -

• Higher wine prices boost drinking pleasure - "The more wine costs, the more people enjoy it, regardless of how it tastes"...
• Talk about things going really wrong... - "Police say a man accidentally shot himself in the groin as he was robbing a convenience store...surveillance video shows the man shooting himself as he placed the gun in the waistband of his pants"...
• Take a closer look. It's a chimp, dude - "A chimpanzee cannot be declared a person, Austria's Supreme Court has ruled..." though the Vienna-based Association Against Animal Factories will "take the case to the European Court of Human Rights"...

Yep, that is right. Another trio of articles that highlight the lowlights of human thinking. I don't know what will happen first, the animal uprising, the robot uprising, or the zombie uprising, but whoever strikes first should have a easy time. Of course, if it is the animals, the chimpanzee group above will probably be helping them.

And, as a special favor to loyal readers, I am willing to accept large sums of cash if that will increase your pleasure of reading this blog. Yes, I would do that just for you...