The! Biggest! News! of! the! Day! - Not Netflix, E-Trade Financial, Qualcomm, LDK Solar, Akeena Solar or Solarfun Power Holdings

Here are some of the contenders for today's biggest...news...of...the...day...

• The move by Netflix (NFLX) to offer programming via a set-top box...
• A management shakeup at State Street (STT) after the company was forced to "set aside $279 million to cover legal costs from losses on subprime mortgages"...
• A $230 million wafer supply deal for Solarfun Power Holdings Co., Ltd. (SOLF)...
• Word that Mitchell Caplan, the ex-CEO of E-Trade Financial Corporation (ETFC) will get a $10.9 million payout...
• Rumors of jobs cuts at Merrill Lynch & Co. (MER)...
• A look into the reaction to news yesterday from both LDK Solar Co., Ltd. (LDK) and Akeena Solar, Inc. (AKNS)...
• A look into how Merrill Lynch (MER) and Bear Stearns (BSC) got into trouble with collateralized debt obligations...
• The "patent setback" for Qualcomm (QCOM)...
• A look into the potential impact of $100 oil on the economy...
• The suggestion that more Fed rate cuts are coming...

While those are all stories worth watching, I think it is obviously clear that the biggest story is this - Cost of coitus: Male monkeys pay for sex...according to the article "a study into our primate cousins which found that male macaques pay for intercourse by using grooming as a currency"...this is the result of "a 20-month investigation"...

On the bright side, if science has moved on this, it must mean that all of the big problems, questions, and issues have already been solved. Right? I will guess they are just waiting to tell us about the new vaccine that prevents cancer. After all, this study does give insight into the perplexing issue stated below.

"There are many examples of rich old men getting young attractive ladies..."

Perplexing indeed...We need Yoda type of wisdom to crack that case...