The! Biggest! News! of! the! Day! - Not the FOMC or Texas Instruments

Here are some of the contenders for today's biggest...news...of...the...day...

• A weak outlook from Texas Instruments (TXN)...
• Optimism on Texas Instruments (TXN) as it is argued "the best strategy is to buy the stock and not look at it for a year. You're almost certain to be at least slightly off on the timing. But when the year is up, you'll probably be pleasantly surprised..."
• A look into what some are expecting from the housing sector...
• A redesign of Wal-Mart's (WMT) website...
• Earnings from TD Ameritrade (AMTD)...
• A new customized search feature from Google (GOOG) that competes with an existing offering from Yahoo (YHOO)...
• A look into the news driving shares of Netflix (NFLX) higher...
• Earnings from BP...
• A discussion about the impact of "animal compassionate" labels...
• Suggestions for what Time Warner (TWX) should do to "jump-start" its AOL division....

While those are all stories worth watching, I think it is obviously clear that the biggest story is this - Great Ape scolded for pulling fire alarm...the fact that the ape grabbed a pull handle on the wall is not that surprising, what is surprising is that the ape won't do it again because she was "scolded" and "she's been told not to do it again"...uhhh - if telling her not to do it again really works, don't we have bigger problems?