The! Biggest! News! of! the! Day! - Not Cisco's Earnings Report or Trade Deficit

Here are some of the contenders for today's biggest...news...of...the...day...

• Better-than-expected earnings and an upbeat forecast from Cisco Systems (CSCO) that has the stock poised to pop nearly 10 percent at the opening bell...
• The trade gap data that showed "the trade deficit narrowed 6.8% in September to $64.3 billion"...
• The weekly jobless claims report that showed a drop of 20,000...
• Some optimistic [subscription required] comments about drugs stocks as it is said that yesterday's post-election drop "is a knee-jerk reaction, and could offer investors a chance to grab up Big Pharma names with strong long-term prospects"...
• A look into the continuing struggles as UnitedHealth Group (UNH) tries to clean up its stock options mess...
• Upbeat comments on hardware stocks as it is said "Rising sales of laptops and new operating systems from Microsoft (MSFT) and Apple (AAPL) should help drive sales at computer hardware makers in the coming months"...IBM (IBM), Apple, and EMC (EMC) are highlighted as winners...
• Word that 3M (MMM) is selling its global pharmaceuticals business...
• This look into Microsoft's (MSFT) new music system Zune...
• A new chip from Nvidia (NVDA) that is giving PCs more "brute computing processing power"...

While those are all stories worth watching, I think it is obviously clear that the biggest story is this - Duct tape no magical cure for warts, study finds...this news rocked my world as it goes against my long-held belief that duct can be used to fix anything...anything!...anything?...