The! Biggest! News! of! the! Day! - Not Alcoa (AA), Alcan (AL), Armor Holdings (AH), or Motorola (MOT)

Here are some of the contenders for today's biggest...news...of...the...day...

• A bid for Alcan (AL) by Alcoa (AA)...
• The acquisition of Armor Holdings (AH) by BAE Systems...(note - AH shares have been on the unusual stock volume scan for the last two sessions...)
• Speculation about what a Microsoft (MSFT)/Yahoo (YHOO) combination could mean to Google (GOOG)...
• More chatter about Motorola (MOT) and Carl Icahn...
• Concerns about irrational exuberance in China...
• Word that Warren Buffett wants to buy "something huge" for Berkshire Hathaway (BRK)...

While those are all stories worth watching, I think it is obviously clear that the biggest story is this - Doctor finds spiders in boy's ear...according to the article "a faint popping in a 9-year-old boy's ear — "like Rice Krispies" — ended up as an earache, and the doctor's diagnosis was that a pair of spiders made a home in the ear"...it seems that the two spiders, both "about the size of a pencil eraser", were walking on the boy's eardrums and causing the noise...

Are you freaking kidding me?!?!?! Are you freaking kidding me?!?!?! Are you freaking kidding me?!?!?! Are you freaking kidding me?!?!?! Seriously, I wouldn't consider myself a spider-phobe but this makes me want to kill every spider I ever see...that is just flat-out creepy...