The! Biggest! News! of! the! Day! - Not Retail Sales, FOMC Announcement, or Wal-Mart

Here are some of the contenders for today's biggest...news...of...the...day...

• A report on retail sales that says "April was largely a sales disaster for most of the nation's largest retail chain stores"...
• Weaker-than-expected same-store sales from Wal-Mart Stores (WMT)...
• A recap of yesterday's FOMC announcement...
• An earnings report from Whole Foods Market (WMFI) that missed expectations and has the stock trading down more than 10 percent in pre-open action...
• Some fairly downbeat chatter on housing stocks...
• An investment by Intel in Jajah, which is a competitor to Skype...
• Word of a software deal between Microsoft (MSFT) and Lenovo...

While those are all stories worth watching, I think it is obviously clear that the biggest story is this - Storm in a D-cup: US mail accepts Josephine Baker's bare breasts...I usually pick a story based on its importance to our society (i.e. the looming animal uprising) or perhaps due to sheer outlandishness (i.e. fears that Bigfoot risks extinction) but today's story was picked solely for title...it was just funny...

Yes, I admit it, I am easily amused...you could probably dangle some shiny aluminum foil in front of me and distract me for hours...