The! Biggest! News! of! the! Day! - Not PPI Data, Counterfeit Toothpaste or Broker Earnings

Here are some of the contenders for today's biggest...news...of...the...day...

• The PPI report which showed that "wholesale prices rose a greater-than-expected 0.9%"...
• The frightening story of counterfeit toothpaste labeled with Colgate-Palmolive's (CL) Colgate brand...
• Earnings from Bear Stearns (BSC)...
• Earnings from Goldman Sachs Group (GS)...
• An "ethics controversy" at Wal-Mart Stores (WMT)...
• Word that the SEC "voted yesterday to end price restrictions on short selling"...

While those are all stories worth watching, I think it is obviously clear that the biggest story is this - Angry squirrel finished off by crutch...according to the article, "An unusually aggressive squirrel attacked three people in a German town before its last victim finished it off with a crutch"...

I have just two words for you - animal uprising...