The! Biggest! News! of! the! Day! - Not Earnings from Merrill, Coca-Cola, JNJ or PPI Data

Here are some of the contenders for today's biggest...news...of...the...day...

• Inflation data from the producer price index..."Wholesale prices fell 0.2% in June as food and energy prices declined after four months of hefty increases"...
• The buyout of Lyondell Chemical Co. (LYO) for $48 per share...
• Better-than-expected earnings from Merrill Lynch (MER)...
• Better-than-expected earnings from Coca-Cola (KO)...
• Better-than-expected earnings from Johnson & Johnson (JNJ)...
• Expectations that Ben Bernanke "will stick to the script -- namely, that inflation remains the biggest risk but the central bank is watching economic data closely and" yadda...yadda...yadda... (note - really, I expect Bernanke to actually use the phrase "yadda...yadda...yadda..." and predict that no one even notices...)
• Rumors that News Corp. (NWS) is closer to a deal with Dow Jones (DJ)...

While those are all stories worth watching, I think it is obviously clear that the biggest story is this - Red panda escapes from Zoo exhibit again...continuing yesterday's string of embarrassments to mankind we have the sad, sad, sad (sad!) tale of a red panda that keeps escaping from its enclosure in the Virginia Zoo...the zoo's director of development is quoted as saying "We don't know how she got out...She's fooling the experts"...

Uh...anyone remember those scientists who kept getting outsmarted by the great ape that "promised" to stop pulling fire alarms???