The! Biggest! News! of! the! Day! - Not Commerce Takeover, Palm Earnings, or Yahoo's Search Push

Here are some of the contenders for today's biggest...news...of...the...day...

• The buyout of Commerce Bancorp (CBH) by TD Bank Financial Group (TD)...
• A disappointing earnings report from Palm Inc. (PALM)...
• Better-than-expected earnings from Pepsi Bottling Group (PBG)...
• A new effort by Yahoo (YHOO) to get back into the search game...
• Skepticism [subscription required] on the market as it is asked - "But is all of this bullishness really realistic?"
• Specialty coffees from McDonald's (MCD)...
• Option activity [subscription required] on Bristol-Myers Squibb (BMY) spurred by takeover chatter...
• The drop in gold...
• An argument that yesterday's warnings from Citigroup (C) and UBS (UBS) actually spurred on yesterday's rally...

While those are all stories worth watching, I think it is obviously clear that the biggest news is this trio of articles...

• Woman gives birth to own grandchildren...
• Spanish town tosses world's biggest salad...
• New world record in 'ear-lifting'...

I usually give a brief summary of the articles, but sometimes a headline just says it all...or at least says enough that leaves me wondering if I really do want to read it...