The! Biggest! News! of! the! Day! - Not Earnings from Merck and Schering-Plough, TakeTV from SanDisk, or Avon

Here are some of the contenders for today's biggest...news...of...the...day...

• Earnings from Merck (MRK)...
• Earnings from Schering-Plough (SGP)...
• An investment deal between Bear Stearns (BSC) and CITIC Securities in China...
• A new product, TakeTV, from SanDisk (SNDK) that will "allow people to move video files from their computer to their television"...SanDisk is also introducing an online video store...it is said this is a challenge to Apple (APPL)...
• Upeat comments [subscription required] that Avon Products Inc. (AVP) "is showing signs that its big, multiyear makeover -- projected to cost $500 million -- is working"...
• Speculation [subscription required] that Pfizer (PFE) may look to buy a biotech firm...Biogen Idec (BIIB) and ImClone Systems (IMCL) are named as possible targets...
• Weakness in overseas markets...

While those are all stories worth watching, I think it is obviously clear that the biggest story, courtesy of Mark "Beer-Is-Better-Than-the-iPhone" Fightmaster is this - Flaming squirrel ignites car in Bayonne...according to the article, "A kamikaze squirrel fell from the sky and detonated a Bayonne woman's car yesterday"...

Just another example in the long, long, long list of signs of the looming animal uprising...