The! Biggest! News! of! the! Day! - Not Apple's Falsified Records Claim or UnitedHealth's Options Probe

Here are some of the contenders for today's biggest...news...of...the...day...

• Allegations that company officials at Apple Computer (AAPL) falsified stock option records...
• The announcement that an SEC investigation into UnitedHealth Group's (UNH) stock options has been upped to a formal probe...
• A look into the post-holiday retail sales picture...
• A "get-acquainted meeting" between the CEO of Ford (F) and the chairman of Toyota (TM)...
• Upbeat comments about Nokia (NOK) as their new phone is expected to help the company...

While those are all stories worth watching, I think it is obviously clear that the biggest story is this - Who knew you could cheat at chess?...in a shocking turn of events, the article says an "Indian chess player has been banned for 10 years for cheating after he was caught using his mobile phone's wireless device to win games"...anyone want to take bets on when he shows up in a commercial for one of the wireless companies?