The! Biggest! News! of! the! Day! - Not Pfizer's Cholesterol Drug or Bank Mergers

Here are some of the contenders for today's biggest...news...of...the...day...

• A disappointment for Pfizer (PFE) as the company was forced to halt tests of their cholesterol drug torcetrapib...PFE shares are poised to gap lower at the open...
• The announcement that Bank of New York (BK) is buying Mellon Financial Corp. (MEL) in a move that will create "the world's biggest asset custodian"...
• This week's [subscription required] Barron's cover story that offers optimism on IBM as it is said that "Even if you don't buy the entire IBM turnaround story, the company's stock needs only part of it to work to show significant improvement"...
• Some skepticism about the outlook for December as some on the Street believe investors may sit on the sidelines until next year...
• Some concerns about the falling dollar as it is said "a falling dollar is a stealthy drain on an economy already at risk of a slowdown"...
• Some thoughts on what last week's ISM report may be signaling for the economy...
• The merger of LSI Logic Corp (LSI) and Agere Systems (AGR)...

While those are all stories worth watching, I think it is obviously clear that the biggest story is this - Swedes guard Christmas goat from vandals... apparently there is a yearly struggle in Sweden to keep a "giant straw Christmas goat" from being mutilated...even more disturbing is that "Santa Claus" and the "Gingerbread Man" remain at large after they "fired flaming arrows at the goat" in 2005...but fear not because the goat is now safe - "After 40 years, we think we finally found the solution"...