The! Biggest! News! of! the! Day! - Not Apple's iPhone, Alcoa's Earnings or Erbitux

Here are some of the contenders for today's biggest...news...of...the...day...

• Details behind Apple Computer's (APPL) new iPhone, which Steve Jobs announced yesterday at the Macworld conference...
• Word that the trade deficit narrowed by 1.0% "to its lowest level since July 2005"...
• Better-than-expected earnings from Alcoa (AA) that gave the shares an after-hours boost...
• Positive Phase III trials for ImClone System's (IMCL) colon cancer drug Erbitux...
• Some skepticism on Dell (DELL) as it is said that their "the lineup pales in comparison to the suite of products unleashed by Apple " and that "analysts aren't optimistic about Dell's prospects for the coming year"...
• A push by Michael Dell to plant trees...(yes, that is true)...
• An increased bid for Delta Air Lines as US Airways Group (LLC) boosts its offer to $10.2 billion...

While those are all stories worth watching, I think it is obviously clear that the biggest story is this - Urinal thief comes clean...according to the article "A British man caught on camera stealing a urinal from a pub gave himself up to police after media reports of his antics attracted global attention"...his motive? - he wanted a "souvenir"...

Oh who am I kidding - Apple's iPhone is the biggest story of the day...I haven't been able to flip on any media outlet without being told how this will revolutionize the world...how did we survive without this???