The! Biggest! News! of! the! Day! - Not Durable Goods, Bill Gross's Warning, or Mutant Rice

Here are some of the contenders for today's biggest...news...of...the...day...

• The durable goods report which showed "Demand for U.S.-made investment goods dropped 3% in May, halting a brief rebound in businesses' capital spending"...
• A warning from Bill Gross - "manager of the world's largest bond fund" - that "the subprime mortgage crisis gripping U.S. financial markets was not an isolated event and will eventually take a toll on the economy"
• A look into Oracle's (ORCL) better-than-expected earnings report...
• A report titled "Attack of the mutant rice"...
• An article that says "The iPhone Matches Most of Its Hype"

While those are all stories worth watching, I think it is obviously clear that the biggest story is this - Inmates cover hole with pancake batter...according to the article, inmates in a Missouri jail "used pancake batter and toothpaste to cover a hole they made to allow a female inmate to slide into the next cell and join a male inmate"...it is said the "mixture of pancake batter and toothpaste looked like mortar"...

Uh, wasn't this a plot line from "Hogan's Heroes"...the article didn't specify whether any guards were quoted as saying "I see nothing. I know nothing. "...