The! Biggest! News! of! the! Day! - Not Subprime Downgrades, Bernanke's Remarks or Wireless Auction

Here are some of the contenders for today's biggest...news...of...the...day...

• A move by Standard & Poor's and Moody's to downgrade subprime residential mortgage-backed securities...it is said this signaled "that problems in the subprime mortgage market aren't going away and will probably get worse as rising delinquencies weigh on U.S. house prices."
• Expectations of gloom regarding tomorrow's retail sales data..."Analysts are nearly universal in their assessment that June's numbers will be weak and disappointing"...
• A recap of yesterday's comments from Federal Reserve Chairman Ben Bernanke...
• A look into some of the companies that are supplying equipment to the American military...Force Protection (FRPT), Spartan Motors (SPAR), and iRobot (IRBT) are mentioned...
• A shift in how websites are judged by Nielsen//NetRatings as the firm moves from page views to the time spent on a site...
• Increased demand for mortgages in the face of higher interest rates...
• New rules "for an upcoming auction of wireless radio spectrum by the Federal Communications Commission could benefit technology companies such as Google (GOOG)"...

While those are all stories worth watching, I think it is obviously clear that the biggest story is this - Mathematics proves the silliness of "silly walks"...according to the article, "Scientists have explained mathematically why the famous 'silly walks' of Monty Python's John Cleese have never caught on in the long history of Homo sapiens."...it is said "The giant, leg-twirling strides of silly walks may enable an individual to leap around swiftly but are simply too expensive in metabolic energy compared to conventional locomotion"...

The article goes on to explain why this "research" is important to this and that but come on - someone actually got funding to "study" something from a Monty Python skit???? You know it was nothing more than an excuse to watch TV! The next "study" will probably go on to test the validity of this way of determining whether someone is a witch -

"A newt?...I got better"...