The! Biggest! News! of! the! Day! - Not LDK Solar, UBS, McDonald's, Blackstone, Apple or Retail Concerns

Here are some of the contenders for today's biggest...news...of...the...day...

• A $10 billion write down at UBS (UBS)...
• An agreement between LDK Solar Co. (LDK) and Q-Cells AG that provides funding for LDK's expansion...
• November sales data from McDonald's Corp (MCD)...
• Rumors that Blackstone (BX) is trying to put together a bid for Rio Tinto Ltd. (RTP)...
• Pessimism on brokerage stocks ahead of earnings....
• A look into the expectations for Apple (APPL)...
• The acquisition of MGI Pharma Inc., (MOGN)...
• Expectations that high-end retailers will suffer...companies mentioned include Tiffany (TIF), Coach (COH), Nordstrom (JWN), and Polo Ralph Lauren (RL)...
• A look into the Fed as it is said "Ben S. Bernanke may have to risk becoming the proverbial 'fool in the shower' to keep the U.S. economy out of recession"...

While those are all stories worth watching, I think it is obviously clear that the biggest story is this - Man in Guinness for getting hit by car...according to the article, Matthew McKnight "holds the record for 'Greatest Distance Thrown in a Car Accident'"...after "being thrown 118 feet by a car that hit him while traveling about 70 mph"...

The Guinness Book of World Records has a category for getting hit by a car? Seriously? That just seems like a bad idea because, well, people actually try to break these records. No good can come of this...